The exhausting emotional labour of being the 'positive onE' on the team

I'm the person who checks on colleagues. Who notices when someone's quiet. Who remembers birthdays and asks about family members who were sick.

I do this because I genuinely care. But I've started noticing the weight of it.

When I'm having a bad week, I keep performing okay-ness because I'm the one who's supposed to be okay. Nobody checks on the person who does the checking.

This isn't a complaint exactly. But I wonder how many people in this role feel the same invisible burden.

Things that have helped me:
- Being honest with one or two close colleagues that I'm struggling too
- Recognising that performing support I don't have to give isn't kindness — it's depletion
- Learning that my own care matters as much as theirs

If you're the person who always asks how everyone else is doing: how are you actually doing?