Burnout, boundaries, and looking after yourself at work
Left my job in January with no plan except to rest for a while. Here's what happened. Month 1: Slept. Read. Worried about having made a terrible mistake. Mostly recovered from what I now recognise as mild burnout. Mont…
Came back from work and had to cook for dinner right after a long shift. After dinner, cleaning had to be done by none other than myself. Crashed right after cleaning the kitchen. Long story short; don't let your respons…
Frame it around performance, not feelings. Say your output is being affected and you need to discuss workload. Feelings make Malaysian managers uncomfortable. Output metrics make them pay attention.
Mine has an EAP (Employee Assistance Programme) with 3 free counselling sessions. Most people do not know it exists. HR never talks about it. Check your handbook, you might have benefits you are not using.
Licensed counsellor: RM100-200/session. Clinical psychologist: RM180-350/session. SOLS Health, ThoughtFull, and MindaWell are popular platforms with sliding scale fees. It is worth the money.
Told manager I was doing a focused evening for a personal project. Set auto-reply for after-hours. Batch-responded at 8am. Three months in, no complaints, better sleep, same performance ratings.
Every rejection hits differently when you are already anxious. What helped: treating job search like a job (9-5 only), tracking metrics not feelings, and taking full weekends off from applications.
Left a toxic job 2 years ago. Took 4 months to stop having Sunday night dread about Monday. Sleep normalised after 6 weeks. If your body is reacting this way, the job is not worth it.
Started running 3x a week during the pandemic. Focus improved, anxiety dropped, sleep quality went up. The energy I get from a morning run is worth more than any app or system I have tried.
Quiet quitting is often the symptom of a worker who is mentally exhausted and protecting themselves. If you find yourself doing the bare minimum, ask whether the environment caused that, not the individual.
Check in privately, not in a group. Say I noticed you seem stressed lately, not that you look terrible. Offer specific help (I can take the next review). Do not problem-solve unless they ask.
Slowly. Mental health days are being added at some MNCs. EAP coverage is increasing. But stigma in leadership is still real, your manager might nod to wellness talks and then penalise you for taking a sick day.
Told my HR confidentially. Got adjusted deadlines for 3 months. Saw a psychiatrist (company insurance covered it). Medication helped. Took 6 months to feel stable again. Sharing in case it helps someone.
Mute the group. Set your phone to Bedtime mode. If they escalate, respond next morning with I saw this at 8am. If nothing burned down overnight, the pattern of urgency was fake.
Month 1: still exhausted even on leave. Month 2: started sleeping properly. Month 3: creative thinking returned. Month 4: started a side project for fun. Recovery is not linear but it is real.
The RM12k job was destroying me. Panic attacks, insomnia, hair loss. RM7,500 new role: I can think, sleep, and actually do good work. Mental health has a ringgit value and it is high.
If you are already burnt out in month 2, it is a huge red flag for the company culture or the role fit. Talk to your manager: are the expectations realistic? If not, start looking before you are permanent.
When your home becomes your office, it becomes hard to truly disconnect. Set a physical "closing time". Walk around the block at the end of the day to simulate a commute home.
When every problem is "a learning opportunity" and you are not allowed to express frustration. It leads to bottled-up burnout. A healthy culture allows for venting and realistic problem-solving.
It is okay to be frustrated. Remember: it says more about the company's bad process than your value. Move on quickly and keep your momentum. Don't wait for them to decide your next move.
Burnout is discussed more openly here than in most Malaysian workplaces. Threads cover recognising the point where tiredness has become something else, saying no at work without being read as difficult, protecting your energy in a genuinely toxic environment you cannot leave yet, and setting boundaries in a culture that still quietly rewards overwork. Some posts are people asking for help partway through a hard stretch; others are written after the fact by people describing what actually helped. The tone is practical rather than clinical. If you are struggling, these threads are peer experience — worth reading, but not a substitute for professional support.