Burnout, boundaries, and looking after yourself at work
After 14 months of non-stop crunch, I cried at my desk for 20 minutes. Teammates had headphones on. Manager was in a meeting. That isolation is what finally made me get professional help.
I've tried two approaches. One failed. One is working. What failed: Announcing boundaries. "I won't respond to messages after 8pm" posted in a team channel. My manager acknowledged it and then sent me a message at 9:30p…
I'm looking for a new job and it's going to take time. In the meantime, I'm still here. Here's what's keeping me functional. Emotional containment at work: I limit how much of myself I bring to the office. I do my job w…
Saying no professionally in a culture where saying no is often read as being difficult is a skill I had to learn deliberately. What I've found works: Say yes to the person, no to the scope. "I want to help with this. R…
The feeling usually starts around 6pm on Sunday. A low-grade anxiety that grows through the evening. By 10pm it's affecting sleep. I've read that some Sunday dread is normal, transitioning between rest and performance m…
Moved to fully remote in 2023. Here's the honest mental health impact in both directions. What improved: - No commute recovered 2—3 hours per day. That time went to sleep, exercise, and cooking. Physical health improved…
I started therapy 18 months ago after pretending I didn't need it for much longer. Here's what I wish I'd known. The stigma: Real but generational. My parents' generation largely sees it as something for people who are…
A close colleague opened up to me recently about going through a difficult time. I realised I didn't always know the right way to respond. Did some reading and thinking afterward. What helps: - "That sounds really hard.…
Performance review week used to knock out my productivity for the entire 5 days before. Here's what I've figured out. Why the anxiety happens: Uncertainty about outcome + high stakes + limited control. The brain treats…
I'm the person who checks on colleagues. Who notices when someone's quiet. Who remembers birthdays and asks about family members who were sick. I do this because I genuinely care. But I've started noticing the weight of…
I'm writing this because most burnout content describes a dramatic collapse. Mine was quieter and I almost didn't recognise it. What it felt like: Not exhaustion exactly, more like everything requiring twice the energy…
Two hours each way. Four hours per day. Twenty hours per week. That's half a full-time job worth of my life, spent in traffic or on public transport that's often overcrowded and delayed. The job itself is good. Good man…
I was terrified to do this. Here's how it went. Context: I'd been visibly less productive for 3 weeks. My manager had noticed and started asking more frequent check-ins which were adding pressure, not reducing it. I as…
Posting anonymously because some colleagues still follow me on LinkedIn. It started as one bad week. Then one bad month. Then somehow I'd spent 6 months dreading every morning, crying in the bathroom during lunch, and p…
Currently in month 5 of job searching. Writing this because I don't see enough honest content about what a long job search actually does to you. The rejection accumulation: The first 5 rejections are fine. By rejection…
I knew what burnout was. I had never heard of boreout until a therapist mentioned it and suddenly a year of my experience made sense. Burnout: Too much demand for your available capacity. Exhaustion, emotional numbness,…
I think something is shifting and I want to document it while it's happening. Five years ago, "I only sleep 4 hours" was a flex. Working weekends was worn as a badge. The person who stayed latest was implicitly the hard…
Not legal advice, please consult a lawyer or HR professional for your specific situation. But here's what I've researched and confirmed. The Employment Act 1955: Medical leave entitlement is 14—22 days per year dependin…
I was put on a PIP 18 months ago. The professional outcome was fine, I met the targets and came off it in 8 weeks. The psychological outcome took much longer to recover from. The period on the PIP was the most psycholog…
Building this list for people who need support but can't afford private therapy. Please add to it. Free hotlines: - Befrienders KL: 03-7627 2929 (24 hours, emotional support) - MIASA Helpline: 1800-82-0066 (mental illne…
Burnout is discussed more openly here than in most Malaysian workplaces. Threads cover recognising the point where tiredness has become something else, saying no at work without being read as difficult, protecting your energy in a genuinely toxic environment you cannot leave yet, and setting boundaries in a culture that still quietly rewards overwork. Some posts are people asking for help partway through a hard stretch; others are written after the fact by people describing what actually helped. The tone is practical rather than clinical. If you are struggling, these threads are peer experience — worth reading, but not a substitute for professional support.